Because smoking is rarely just something you do.

Over time, it becomes a relationship you have.

And relationships are far harder to untangle than habits.

At first, a cigarette might have been curiosity. Rebellion. Belonging. A way to fit in at school, survive stressful jobs, punctuate a night out, or feel older, calmer, cooler, less awkward.

But somewhere along the way, the cigarette quietly changes shape.

It becomes the pause.

The exhale.

The companion during loneliness.

The little “reward” at the end of a hard day.

The private moment outside when everything feels too loud.

And this is why so many intelligent, self-aware people feel confused by smoking.

Because part of them genuinely wants to stop.

And another part still experiences smoking as emotionally useful.

This is also why shaming people into stopping rarely helps.

If quitting smoking were simply about information, nobody would smoke anymore. We all know the risks. The packets practically scream at us in fluoresce...

Recently, on a trip to Milan, I let myself “go there”… like really “go there.”

The gelato, the pasta, the shopping.

I see myself as an N of 1 experiment and before the trip, I’d been fairly restrained as I was in “body engineering” mode, so I made an intentional decision to get swept up in it all. Just for the sheer pleasure of playing with life (and also exploring my emerging — stronger — Italian identity).

By the third day of this cultural experiment, my digestive tract felt like burning embers and my brain kept grabbing at the thought of “what’s next” like a Duracell bunny.

It was the morning of our departure as I sat waiting for my husband to finish his text, belly and suitcase bloated, when a curiosity popped into my head.

I asked myself the question…

“Now that I’m no longer driven by my reproductive hormones (oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone), am I now driven by my brain hormones (dopamine, serotonin etc.) instead?”

A very clunky question I know, but nevertheless, ...

Let me begin by saying, if this is you right now, I sympathise.... I've been there with bells on. 

But I want to begin this piece of writing by disrupting the idea that "nothing is wrong"

Because that's not quite true.

Not in the way we’ve been taught to think about it.

The Myth: “Anxiety Comes Out of Nowhere”

We’ve been conditioned to believe that anxiety is random.
That it just… happens. Like a glitch in the system. Like your body has gone rogue.

But here’s the truth:

Nothing in the human system goes wonky all by itself.

Your body is not careless, broken or making mistakes.  

Life, by its very nature, is self-organising. It is constantly attempting to move towards balance, regulation, coherence.

So if something isn’t resolving on its own…
it’s not because nothing is wrong.

It’s because something deeper hasn’t yet been seen yet.  Ergo, we need to look beneath the surface.  

“But My Life Is Fine…”

This is where the confusion creeps in.

Because you might have a stable job...

Honey, you don't.... there's no such thing as self sabotage.  It's a constructed label. I'll unpack it for you, but first let's start at the beginning. 

“Why do I keep sabotaging myself?”

It’s one of the most common questions I hear.

And I completely understand why.

On the surface, it does look like sabotage.

You say you’ll go to the gym… and you don’t.
You plan to eat well… and you reach for chocolate.
You want the relationship to work… and you pull away.
You commit to the business idea… and then procrastinate.

From the outside, it looks like you’re getting in your own way.

But as the charming rebellious sagittarius that I am, I'd like to challenge this idea.

The Hidden Assumption Behind “Self-Sabotage”

The idea of self-sabotage rests on one very important assumption:

That there is a correct way to behave…
And that you are deviating from it.

But who decided what “correct” is?

Let’s take something simple.

You don’t go to the gym one morning.

Is that sabotage?

Or is it your b...

Hello friend.  If you're searching for Hypnotherapy Brighton or looking for a Brighton hypnotherapist, there is a good chance you are asking one important question before booking your first session:

Does hypnotherapy actually work, or is it just a stage trick?

It’s a fair question. Hypnosis has been surrounded by myths for decades. Swinging pocket watches. People clucking like chickens. Magicians in velvet jackets commanding the audience.

But clinical hypnotherapy is something very different.

Over the past 40 years, hypnosis has been studied in hospitals, psychology departments and pain clinics around the world. And the findings are increasingly clear: hypnosis can be a powerful therapeutic tool when used in the right context.

In this article, I want to walk you through what the research actually says. Not the hype. Not the marketing. But the science behind hypnotherapy.

What Is Hypnotherapy Really Doing in the Brain?

Hypnosis is best understood as a state of focused attention...

There’s a moment in the evening that many women recognise once they reach perimenopause or menopause.

The day has been full.
Productive, even.
You’ve eaten properly, moved your body, done what needed to be done.
You may even be on a medication that is supposed to quiet appetite altogether.

And yet, as the light fades, something wakes up inside you.

Not hunger exactly, not even emotional eating in the way it’s usually framed.

More like… a pull.
A niggle.
A sudden and very specific interest in something crunchy, sharp, stimulating.
An oral something.

It can feel slightly perplexing. You might even translate it as a lack of willpower, even though somewhere deep down you know that’s not really true. (And for the record, it definitely isn’t.)

This is especially uncomfortable for women who are used to being capable, regulated, and in control. Women who don’t usually find themselves circling the cupboards but well…. are.

Your body isn’t being difficult. 

It’s trying to find a way of r...

Why “Regression” Isn’t Dangerous When Done Right

Every so often, a debate flares up in the hypnosis or therapy world that claims age regression to be dangerous.  

You’ll hear people say it with conviction, as if ALL regression techniques belong to one big reckless bucket, as if anyone who guides a client back into childhood memories is automatically playing with fire.

But here’s the thing: when someone says “regression is dangerous,” it’s worth asking, which kind of regression are they talking about?

Because what most critics describe, and what most trauma informed practitioners actually do, are two entirely different things.

1️⃣ Memory Recovery Regression...The One That Is Risky

Let’s start with the one that gave regression a bad name: memory recovery regression.

This approach, popularised in the 1980s and 90s, often tried to “find out what really happened.” The idea was to dig into the subconscious and retrieve literal, factual memories of past events, sometimes even “recovere...

The Paradox of the ‘Strong-Minded’ Personality

When people first contact me for hypnotherapy in Brighton (or online), they often say, “I’m not sure if I can be hypnotised, I’m too strong minded.” It’s a belief that comes up again and again: the idea that hypnotherapy is about ‘losing control’ and that only people who are suggestible, passive, or ‘weak-willed’ can benefit.

But here’s the paradox, and something hypnotherapists like Adam Eason have spoken about extensively: being strong minded is NOT a barrier to hypnotherapy. In fact, it can be one of the greatest assets.

Strong minded individuals often thrive in hypnosis because of what they bring:  focus, imagination, collaboration and commitment.  These are exactly the qualities that make hypnotherapy so powerful.

Misunderstanding Hypnosis

We live in a culture where hypnosis has been presented through films, TV shows, or stage performances as something done to you. The hypnotist swings a pocket watch, you surrender, and your ‘str...