There are a couple of things that fascinate me about my job as a therapist. One is the type of issues that people need fixing and the other is what scenes come up during regression related to that.
I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I get blindsided and I have to think on my feet. I can have an expectation that what I’m going to find is neglect but actually what I find is the opposite.
TOO MUCH ATTENTION.
If, when I ask my client’s inner child “are you happy?” and the response is “yes, I’m so happy, I couldn’t want for anything more, my childhood is perfect, I like it here, I want to stay”…
I see a red flag .
Not that your childhood shouldn’t be safe and affirming, but if you’re coming to me with an issue and you’re telling me your childhood was perfect, I know we need to dig deeper.
Now what I start to look for is something called enmeshment or covert...
How much of the ageing symptoms that we experience is actually just stereotype embodiment?
Stereotype embodiment refers to the process by which individuals internalize and embody stereotypes that are prevalent in their culture or society. It suggests that stereotypes can influence people's self-perception, behavior, and even their physical and mental health.
When individuals are repeatedly exposed to stereotypes about a particular social group to which they belong, they may begin to internalize those stereotypes and incorporate them into their self-concept. For example, if someone repeatedly hears that older adults are forgetful and frail, they may start to believe and exhibit those characteristics themselves, even if they were not true for them personally.
Stereotype embodiment can operate through various mechanisms. One mechanism is stereotype threat, where individuals are aware of negative stereotypes about their group, which can lead to anxiety and...
Healing from anything is often a time when we come out of the matrix and as a result, our perspective shifts dramatically.
Before we take a look at the paradigms I’m no longer subscribing to (and why), let’s take a look at what exactly a paradigm is.
A paradigm is a framework, model or way of thinking. Essentially it's a lens through which individuals, communities, countries, political parties, organisations and religions interpret the world around them. It's how they define problems and search for solutions.
Paradigms define the scope of enquiry, establish boundaries and set the criteria for what is considered valid and important.
Paradigms are often well established and can be hard to change because they are often accepted as the ‘norms’. However some paradigms are extremely harmful to our mental and emotional wellbeing.
Shifting a paradigm often requires a kind of 'rebellion' as a way of taking our power back.
Many partners these days spend a lot of time (while together) on social media each being drawn further and further into their own paradigm creating a schism in their relational bubble proving it harder and harder to coexist in real life due to massive differences in thinking (phew that was a long sentence!).
And did you know relational disharmony massively increases feelings of anxiety, so it's worth investing some time in to get right.
Creating harmony in such a relationship can be incredibly challenging unless both parties are willing to actively come out of their paradigms in participate in the paradigm of their relationship on a regular basis (how often needs to be agreed).
It requires: a recognition of what is going on, a willingness to participate in the relationship and the environment of the relationship (ie the home), open communication, mutual respect, and a stretch to understand and appreciate each other's perspectives.
Frankly there’s no point in making the investment in RTT if the changes are not going to stick right?
Short of me living with you and following you around everywhere, you’re going to have to apply some principles by yourself.
Here’s what I recommend [adapted from ACT therapy principles].
Purpose - KNOW the reason WHY you want to continue the change. What are your values? Why are they important to you and how are you going to commit to them? Also, what are the consequences of reverting back to the old way of thinking or the old behaviour?
Practice - Changing thought and behaviour patterns is a PRACTICE. Just like you have to practice golf to get better at golf you have to practice choosing a different thought and...
And that is exactly what addictions do right? They keep you shackled, they keep you bound, they keep you stuck, they stop you from reaching your true inner potential. There are many kinds of addictions too. Maybe you’re addicted to sex but want to have a meaningful relationship, maybe you’re addicted to sugar but want to kick metabolic syndrome, maybe you’re addicted to work and lack friendships , maybe you’re addicted to your own ego but want to be more self less and kinder to others, maybe you’re addicted to drugs and alcohol but want to be free of all of that.
In essence, the addiction will always block the potential. Addictions keep you disempowered and small and they never work because they can never satiate you. An addiction will never satisfy you that’s why you need more of it each time - that’s how they work, that’s how they have their power OVER you. So, if an addiction was...
What is it that you want to change? Do you want to change your eating patterns, lose weight, think better thoughts or fearlessly get out of your comfort zone?
No matter what you want to change, follow these rules of the mind and this will help you.
Any internal issue you have in your life like depression or anxiety (even if it's something you don't want) GIVES you something and your mind thinks you need it because your mind does exactly what it thinks you are asking you. Let's unpack this. Your subconscious mind is like the most unbiased butler. It does whatever it is told. But the butler takes his cues from your unconscious mind OR your super conscious mind. Your unconscious mind is the mind of protection and fear and it's where all of your experiences are stored including your childhood. Your super conscious mind is your mind of boundless opportunity and it's where your creativity, your imagination and your intuition comes from. ...
Black and white thinking around health, nutrition and weight loss is outdated, outmoded and redundant. If you think it's just a case of finding enough will power to stick to a diet, then, my friend, I'm afraid you're set up to fail.
My guest today has built up a credible reputation for helping thousands find a new relationship to food, their bodies and dieting.
In this conversation we talk about:
A time redefine ourselves and dieting.
Why we're sociologically conditioned for weight loss.
Re-writing the diet narrative.
Mindful weight loss / Mindful eating.
The human diet.
Understanding your motivations.
Our relationships to food.
SLOWING THE F**K DOWN
Black and white thinkings vs 'play in the grey'
Making people with desire & yearning.
Routine, routine, routine.
Progress over perfection.
But HOW do we accept a body we don't actually like.
So if you're ready to 'play in the grey', come join Tanja and me!
How do we become resilient to the challenges of menopause? Do we do nothing and let it overtake us or do we actively participate to become more adapted to this challenging phase of our lives?
The most helpful narrative I've come across is to be primed and ready for menopause as much as we can in order to avoid the massive pitfalls of ill health that can occur at this time.
My guest today is Beth Wright, a lawyer by day who moonlights as a Functional Medicine Practitioner and a Health Coach.... and frankly, SHE RIPPED!!
In this episode we chat about:
Holding down a job as a lawyer AND a health coach.
Muscle as a metabolic and endocrine organ.
Why generic programs are not a good idea especially during menopause.
The trainer client relationship.
What is a hormone reset and reboot.
Why we are programmed to function better in groups.
The reasons why intuitive eating sometimes goes out the...