Sally Garozzo | Clinical Hypnotherapist Brighton & Online

The Paradox of the ‘Strong-Minded’ Personality

When people first contact me for hypnotherapy in Brighton (or online), they often say, “I’m not sure if I can be hypnotised, I’m too strong minded.” It’s a belief that comes up again and again: the idea that hypnotherapy is about ‘losing control’ and that only people who are suggestible, passive, or ‘weak-willed’ can benefit.

But here’s the paradox, and something hypnotherapists like Adam Eason have spoken about extensively: being strong minded is NOT a barrier to hypnotherapy. In fact, it can be one of the greatest assets.

Strong minded individuals often thrive in hypnosis because of what they bring:  focus, imagination, collaboration and commitment.  These are exactly the qualities that make hypnotherapy so powerful.

Misunderstanding Hypnosis

We live in a culture where hypnosis has been presented through films, TV shows, or stage performances as something done to you. The hypnotist swings a pocket watch, you surrender, and your ‘str...

I completed my 5k milestone on 20th February 2024... Ta Dah! 

And wow what an incredible experience running that final run.  I had Mutemath to keep me company in my ears and when I turned on to the beach decking at around 6pm to fun the final stretch, it was quiet, pitch black, just me and the beach.  I had the biggest smile on my face and I felt so high, in fact I kept on running after the bell.  

All I can say is, the feeling of achievement was so worth it. 

So welcome to part 2 of this blog, if you haven't read part one, you can read it here.

Here's where we get into the real nitty gritty of the mindset hacks I deployed to get me through some of the toughest moments.   

Let's dive in. 

When the going got tough, I pretended I was running with others
I’m a lone wolf.  Always have been.  I prefer living to the beat of my own drum.  But when the going gets tough, you need others.  I’d read somewhere that running in packs is encoded into our DNA and so when things felt tough I t...

We painted our hallway blue, beautiful Marrakech blue, now I can't stop seeing it everywhere I go. 

My husband is the same.  Whenever we watch a film, go into a shop or restaurant, we see it.

Somewhere.

On the wall, in a picture, someone's wearing it. 

I'm sure it's always been there, we've just never NOTICED it before. 

But now, because this blue has MEANING to us, we are seeing it everywhere!  

Ta Dah ⬆️

Ok, I'm making a meal out of this for effect, because I knew this would happen after we'd painted our walls. 

And I knew this would happen because I'm fascinated with the Reticular Activating System.  

Here's a quick 101 on the RAS. 

The RAS is a network of neurons in the brain which acts as a filter for sensory information determining what stimuli are important and deserving of our attention.  We need this filtration system in our brain because in reality, there's just too much information in the world for us process at any one time.  We don't know it, but we are only se...

Deep change takes a recognition of where we have split off from the authentic self. 

Having helped many clients deal with a range of things they want to change (from avoidant attachment styles to skin picking) what we’re really finding at the heart of the matter is a split from self. 

Therefore to heal is to reconcile with self and live in a more empowered way making every decision with authencity at the core, dissolving cognitive dissonance, the presence of which drives thoes pesky symptoms. 

People talk about authenticity a lot though but what does it really mean?

When we operate authentically we make choices from a place of our true identity, NOT an identity that  belongs to our childhood or that has been intervoven with beliefs rendered from traumatic events. 

When children have been parented in a way that over-rides their natural intuition using co-cercive control or manipulation, dis-empowering the child’s inner widsom, what you create in the child is a loss of true identity...

Have you heard of the expression, "You don't stop playing because you age, you age because you stop playing."  ?

Well I think something similar is going on with our libido during menopause. 

Yes the initial hormone decline may cause our libido to drop but it's OUR job to re-ignite it otherwise we end up in the trap that goes:  'you don't stop having sex because of menopause, you menopause because you stop having sex.'

Maybe that's not actual science, but there's something in the idea which feels important and certainly goes along with the theory of stereotype embodiment. 

The health benefits of sex and orgasms are phenomenal. 

The increased levels of nitric oxide released during orgasm bring improvements in: 

🍆 cardiovascular health including blood pressure.
🍆 exercise performance.
🍆 immune function.
🍆 memory and overall brain function.
🍆 wound healing.
🍆 anti inflammatory.
🍆 emotional regulation.

all of which support a healthier menopause and so I think we would do well to be curio...

There are a couple of things that fascinate me about my job as a therapist.  One is the type of issues that people need fixing and the other is what scenes come up during regression related to that. 

I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I get blindsided and I have to think on my feet.  I can have an expectation that what I’m going to find is neglect but actually what I find is the opposite.

TOO MUCH ATTENTION.  

If, when I ask my client’s inner child “are you happy?” and the response is “yes, I’m so happy, I couldn’t want for anything more, my childhood is perfect, I like it here, I want to stay”…

I see a red flag 🚩.   

Not that your childhood shouldn’t be safe and affirming, but if you’re coming to me with an issue and you’re telling me your childhood was perfect, I know we need to dig deeper.

Now what I start to look for is something called enmeshment or covert incest.

It’s when the child becomes the emotional ’spouse’ of the parent….

Husbandification or Wifeification, as it’s ...

How much of the ageing symptoms that we experience is actually just stereotype embodiment?

Stereotype embodiment refers to the process by which individuals internalize and embody stereotypes that are prevalent in their culture or society. It suggests that stereotypes can influence people's self-perception, behavior, and even their physical and mental health.

When individuals are repeatedly exposed to stereotypes about a particular social group to which they belong, they may begin to internalize those stereotypes and incorporate them into their self-concept. For example, if someone repeatedly hears that older adults are forgetful and frail, they may start to believe and exhibit those characteristics themselves, even if they were not true for them personally.

Stereotype embodiment can operate through various mechanisms. One mechanism is stereotype threat, where individuals are aware of negative stereotypes about their group, which can lead to anxiety and self-doubt, ultimatel...

Many partners these days spend a lot of time (while together) on social media each being drawn further and further into their own paradigm creating a schism in their relational bubble proving it harder and harder to coexist in real life due to massive differences in thinking (phew that was a long sentence!). 

And did you know relational disharmony massively increases feelings of anxiety, so it's worth investing some time in to get right.

Creating harmony in such a relationship can be incredibly challenging unless both parties are willing to actively come out of their paradigms in participate in the paradigm of their relationship on a regular basis (how often needs to be agreed). 

It requires:  a recognition of what is going on, a willingness to participate in the relationship and the environment of the relationship (ie the home), open communication, mutual respect, and a stretch to understand and appreciate each other's perspectives. 

Useful Pointers.

1. Open and ho...

Frankly there’s no point in making the investment in RTT if the changes are not going to stick right?

So how do we make that happen for you to help you with your weight loss journey, or your anxiety recovery or whatever else you're here for,  even after you've listened to your recording for 30 days?

Short of me living with you and following you around everywhere, you’re going to have to apply some principles by yourself.

Here’s what I recommend [adapted from ACT therapy principles].

Purpose - KNOW the reason WHY you want to continue the change. What are your values? Why are they important to you and how are you going to commit to them? Also, what are the consequences of reverting back to the old way of thinking or the old behaviour?

Practice - Changing thought and behaviour patterns is a PRACTICE. Just like you have to practice golf to get better at golf you have to practice choosing a different thought and behaviour to get better at choosing a different thought and...