We painted our hallway blue, beautiful Marrakech blue, now I can't stop seeing it everywhere I go.
My husband is the same. Whenever we watch a film, go into a shop or restaurant, we see it.
On the wall, in a picture, someone's wearing it.
I'm sure it's always been there, we've just never NOTICED it before.
But now, because this blue has MEANING to us, we are seeing it everywhere!
Ok, I'm making a meal out of this for effect, because I knew this would happen after we'd painted our walls.
And I knew this would happen because I'm fascinated with the Reticular Activating System.
Here's a quick 101 on the RAS.
The RAS is a network of neurons in the brain which acts as a filter for sensory information determining what stimuli are important and deserving of our attention. We need this filtration system in our brain because in reality, there's just too much information in the world for us...
Deep change takes a recognition of where we have split off from the authentic self.
Having helped many clients deal with a range of things they want to change (from avoidant attachment styles to skin picking) what we’re really finding at the heart of the matter is a split from self.
Therefore to heal is to reconcile with self and live in a more empowered way making every decision with authencity at the core, dissolving cognitive dissonance, the presence of which drives thoes pesky symptoms.
People talk about authenticity a lot though but what does it really mean?
When we operate authentically we make choices from a place of our true identity, NOT an identity that belongs to our childhood or that has been intervoven with beliefs rendered from traumatic events.
When children have been parented in a way that over-rides their natural intuition using co-cercive control or manipulation, dis-empowering the child’s inner widsom,...
Have you heard of the expression, "You don't stop playing because you age, you age because you stop playing." ?
Well I think something similar is going on with our libido during menopause.
Yes the initial hormone decline may cause our libido to drop but it's OUR job to re-ignite it otherwise we end up in the trap that goes: 'you don't stop having sex because of menopause, you menopause because you stop having sex.'
Maybe that's not actual science, but there's something in the idea which feels important and certainly goes along with the theory of stereotype embodiment.
The health benefits of sex and orgasms are phenomenal.
The increased levels of nitric oxide released during orgasm bring improvements in:
cardiovascular health including blood pressure.
memory and overall brain function.
all of which support a healthier menopause and so I...
There are a couple of things that fascinate me about my job as a therapist. One is the type of issues that people need fixing and the other is what scenes come up during regression related to that.
I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I get blindsided and I have to think on my feet. I can have an expectation that what I’m going to find is neglect but actually what I find is the opposite.
TOO MUCH ATTENTION.
If, when I ask my client’s inner child “are you happy?” and the response is “yes, I’m so happy, I couldn’t want for anything more, my childhood is perfect, I like it here, I want to stay”…
I see a red flag .
Not that your childhood shouldn’t be safe and affirming, but if you’re coming to me with an issue and you’re telling me your childhood was perfect, I know we need to dig deeper.
Now what I start to look for is something called enmeshment or covert...
How much of the ageing symptoms that we experience is actually just stereotype embodiment?
Stereotype embodiment refers to the process by which individuals internalize and embody stereotypes that are prevalent in their culture or society. It suggests that stereotypes can influence people's self-perception, behavior, and even their physical and mental health.
When individuals are repeatedly exposed to stereotypes about a particular social group to which they belong, they may begin to internalize those stereotypes and incorporate them into their self-concept. For example, if someone repeatedly hears that older adults are forgetful and frail, they may start to believe and exhibit those characteristics themselves, even if they were not true for them personally.
Stereotype embodiment can operate through various mechanisms. One mechanism is stereotype threat, where individuals are aware of negative stereotypes about their group, which can lead to anxiety and...
Many partners these days spend a lot of time (while together) on social media each being drawn further and further into their own paradigm creating a schism in their relational bubble proving it harder and harder to coexist in real life due to massive differences in thinking (phew that was a long sentence!).
And did you know relational disharmony massively increases feelings of anxiety, so it's worth investing some time in to get right.
Creating harmony in such a relationship can be incredibly challenging unless both parties are willing to actively come out of their paradigms in participate in the paradigm of their relationship on a regular basis (how often needs to be agreed).
It requires: a recognition of what is going on, a willingness to participate in the relationship and the environment of the relationship (ie the home), open communication, mutual respect, and a stretch to understand and appreciate each other's perspectives.
Frankly there’s no point in making the investment in RTT if the changes are not going to stick right?
Short of me living with you and following you around everywhere, you’re going to have to apply some principles by yourself.
Here’s what I recommend [adapted from ACT therapy principles].
Purpose - KNOW the reason WHY you want to continue the change. What are your values? Why are they important to you and how are you going to commit to them? Also, what are the consequences of reverting back to the old way of thinking or the old behaviour?
Practice - Changing thought and behaviour patterns is a PRACTICE. Just like you have to practice golf to get better at golf you have to practice choosing a different thought and...
Hypnotherapy, which is the use of hypnosis for therapeutic purposes, has a long and fascinating history dating back thousands of years.
What most people don't realise is that hypnosis is a state of mind that occurs every day and it doesn't actually feel that unusal. In simple terms it's when we are 'in the zone'. During this state time passes quickly and we don't consciously remember making that cup of tea, or driving to that location, our automatic pilot takes over. Essentially it's when our brain wave speed slow down.
During hypnotherapy, the hypnotherapist induces a slower brainwave state by helping you to relax. This opens the doorway between the mind and body enabling us to do some all important work on your psychology.
Ancient civilizations such as the Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans all used forms of hypnosis for healing and spiritual purposes. In fact, the word "hypnosis" comes from the Greek word "hypnos," which means...
The only way to conquer your fears is to face them head-on. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Last week in Cornwall we walked around The Rumps with big ole sheer drops next to us.
Not gonna lie… I felt a bit , but it felt great to conquer something scary and made me feel alive.
It got me thinking about facing fears. Many of us are stuck in a rut because we don’t want to expose ourselves to fear but the longer you leave it, the worse it gets in your head.
Here are some tips for facing your fears:
1. Identify your fears: Write down what you're afraid of and why.
2. Start small: Take small steps towards facing your fear. For example, if you're afraid of heights, start by standing on a step stool and work your way up.
3. Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your fears and ask for their support.
4. Focus on the present: Don't let your mind wander to negative outcomes. Focus on the present moment and take things one step at a time.
What many people don't realise, is that our ability to focus affects our overall sense of wellbeing. A scattered focus degrades our wellbeing and a sharp focus enhances it. So follow these six steps to help you improve yours.
Recognise what’s happening to you.
Recognise that every time you go on your phone corporations with gargantuan influence have a vested interested in stealing your attention and they will make it so compelling that you don’t even know it’s happening. Basically if you’re not on your phone, they can’t target you with advertising or influence, so they WANT you on your phone and they will make it incredibly enticing. When you feel yourself getting sucked into a rabbit hole that is numbing you out, just yell at yourself to STOP. Remind yourself what your values are and then ask yourself is mindless scrolling in line with my values or against my values? Now go and do something that is IN LINE with your values, even...