Sally Garozzo | Clinical Hypnotherapist Brighton & Online

Recently, on a trip to Milan, I let myself “go there”… like really “go there.”

The gelato, the pasta, the shopping.

I see myself as an N of 1 experiment and before the trip, I’d been fairly restrained as I was in “body engineering” mode, so I made an intentional decision to get swept up in it all. Just for the sheer pleasure of playing with life (and also exploring my emerging — stronger — Italian identity).

By the third day of this cultural experiment, my digestive tract felt like burning embers and my brain kept grabbing at the thought of “what’s next” like a Duracell bunny.

It was the morning of our departure as I sat waiting for my husband to finish his text, belly and suitcase bloated, when a curiosity popped into my head.

I asked myself the question…

“Now that I’m no longer driven by my reproductive hormones (oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone), am I now driven by my brain hormones (dopamine, serotonin etc.) instead?”

A very clunky question I know, but nevertheless, ...

Honey, you don't.... there's no such thing as self sabotage.  It's a constructed label. I'll unpack it for you, but first let's start at the beginning. 

“Why do I keep sabotaging myself?”

It’s one of the most common questions I hear.

And I completely understand why.

On the surface, it does look like sabotage.

You say you’ll go to the gym… and you don’t.
You plan to eat well… and you reach for chocolate.
You want the relationship to work… and you pull away.
You commit to the business idea… and then procrastinate.

From the outside, it looks like you’re getting in your own way.

But as the charming rebellious sagittarius that I am, I'd like to challenge this idea.

The Hidden Assumption Behind “Self-Sabotage”

The idea of self-sabotage rests on one very important assumption:

That there is a correct way to behave…
And that you are deviating from it.

But who decided what “correct” is?

Let’s take something simple.

You don’t go to the gym one morning.

Is that sabotage?

Or is it your b...