How to Get Through The Hardest Part of Change

behaviour change building new habits change psychology confidence confidence building emotional resilience goal achievement growth mindset habit change hypnotherapy lasting change mindset motivation nervous system overcoming fear personal change personal development personal growth personal transformation psychology resilience rtt self development self sabotage trauma-informed therapy May 31, 2026

In my twenties, I decided I wanted to learn to ride a motorbike.

It didn't go well.

On the day of my test, it was raining. I fell off the bike just before the exam and promptly decided that perhaps motorcycling wasn't for me after all. I went home, licked my wounds, and put the dream in a box.

Fifteen years passed.

Then life presented me with another opportunity.

This time I had a boyfriend who rode a motorbike, which certainly added fuel to the fire. I signed up for lessons and convinced myself that this was going to be the year.

The problem was that reality looked very different from the fantasy.

The lessons were expensive, it was January, the weather was ice cold and the bikes were h.e.a.v.y.

And whilst nobody likes to admit it, learning to manoeuvre a large motorbike can be physically demanding, particularly when you're a relatively small woman trying to control a machine that seems determined to remind you of the laws of gravity.

But even so, week after week I turned up: cold, wet, frustrated and slightly poorer.

And increasingly aware that I wasn't enjoying the process nearly as much as I'd imagined.

Then Came The Moment

About six weeks in, I remember sitting with the feeling....

"I don't want to do this anymore."

Not because I no longer wanted the outcome. Of course I wanted the biker chick status.

I just didn't want any more struggle.

The Suspension Bridge

And that's when I found myself standing in the middle of a metaphorical suspension bridge.

Behind me was immediate relief.

No more money.

No more lessons.

No more cold mornings.

No more nerves.

No more discomfort.

Ahead of me was more of everything I didn't currently want.

More expense.

More effort.

More uncertainty.

More practice.

More frustration.

The strange thing was that neither direction felt particularly comfortable.

Turning back would bring relief, but it would also mean abandoning everything I'd already invested and continuing would mean enduring more discomfort.

Stopping would mean living with regret and carrying on would mean living with effort.

And suddenly I realised something that I've since seen play out in almost every area of life.

The hardest part of change isn't usually the beginning.

The hardest part is the middle.

We Think The Beginning Is The Hard Part

Most people assume change is hardest when you start.

The first therapy session.

The first gym session.

The first boundary.

The first difficult conversation.

The first alcohol-free weekend.

The first day without checking your ex's social media.

But beginnings have something very powerful working in their favour.

Enthusiasm.

The beginning is full of possibility.

We imagine the outcome.

We imagine the transformation.

We imagine the future version of ourselves.

The beginning is exciting.

It's the middle that catches people out.

Because the middle is where the energy of enthusiasm and motivation just leaves the room.

And the cost suddenly becomes visible.

Let me explain.

There's a very subtle phase in the change process.

It's the phase where you still want the thing but no longer enjoy the process.

Motivation is gone and you start thinking about alternative options.

You start thinking:

"Maybe this isn't for me."

"Maybe now isn't the right time."

"Maybe I'm forcing it."

And of course, sometimes stopping genuinely is the right thing to do.

But often what we're experiencing isn't a sign that we're on the wrong path.

It's the point where enthusiasm can no longer carry the weight of the goal.

Something else has to take over.

Character.

Because There Is NO PAIN FREE OPTION

This is perhaps the most important thing I've learned.

At the midpoint of any meaningful change, there are usually two forms of discomfort available.

The discomfort of continuing.

Or the discomfort of stopping.

The discomfort of staying in therapy.

Or the discomfort of remaining stuck.

The discomfort of setting boundaries.

Or the discomfort of continuing to abandon yourself.

The discomfort of exercising.

Or the discomfort of feeling disconnected from your body.

The discomfort of having a difficult conversation.

Or the discomfort of carrying resentment for another decade.

We often spend so much time trying to eliminate discomfort that we forget to ask a much more useful question.

Which type of discomfort serves me?

Because we don't get to avoid pain in this life, we just have to choose the pain that leads us somewhere.

So What Exactly Is It That Has To Take Over From Motivation And Enthusiasm?

It's not willpower....

it's

M.E.A.N.I.N.G.

And what lives inside of meaning are:

Values.

Identity.

Character.

A deep understanding of WHY the destination matters.

At some point, every single goal asks us to stop relying on excitement and start relying on intention.

To stop asking:

"Do I feel like doing this today?"

And start asking:

"I am someone who does this anyway. The way I feel about it, has nothing to do with whether I do it or not - doing it is automatic"

Because every time you continue after the excitement has faded, something remarkable happens.

You stop proving that you can do the thing.

And start proving that you are someone who does the thing.

Halfway Across The Bridge

I eventually passed my motorbike test.

But the funny thing was, it didn't feel like a victory, it felt like an inevitability because the real victory came earlier.

On a freezing February morning when I realised I wanted to quit but I carried on anyway.

That was the moment the change stopped being powered by enthusiasm.

And started being powered by something much deeper.

Character.

And here's the interesting thing.

Character is this inner vehicle that helps you get to your goal. Because let's face it, nobody wants to spend the rest of their life gritting their teeth and forcing themselves through discomfort.

That's not what transformation is asking of us.

What creates lasting change is trust in the process, even though it feels uncomfortable until you notice...

The skill becomes familiar.

The behaviour becomes automatic.

The new identity begins to settle.

The discomfort that once screamed for your attention slowly fades into the background.

The bike didn't become lighter, I became more capable.

The roads didn't become less busy, I became more confident.

The challenge didn't disappear my relationship with it changed.

And that's true of almost every meaningful transformation.

The gym doesn't become easier, you become stronger.

Boundaries don't become easier, you become more comfortable setting them.

Anxiety doesn't always disappear, but your capacity expands.

And get this....

The discomfort that once felt overwhelming gradually becomes part of the landscape.

And that's why I don't think lasting change is really about motivation at all.

(Motivation is a terrible long-term fuel source.)

It's unreliable. It comes and goes with sleep, hormones, weather, stress and circumstance.

Meaning is different.

Meaning endures. It survives difficult days and self doubt and the messy middle.

And that's because when your vision for yourself becomes clear enough the future becomes louder than the discomfort.

You stop focusing on what you're having to endure today and start focusing on who you're becoming tomorrow.

It a nutshell it's attentional re-orientating.

The woman learning to ride the motorbike.

The person who no longer needs alcohol to unwind.

The business owner who finally backs themselves.

The person who speaks up in meetings.

The woman who trusts her own voice.

The person who no longer organises their life around anxiety.

That future self starts pulling you forward.

And the stronger that vision becomes, the quieter today's discomfort becomes.

This is one of the reasons hypnotherapy can be so powerful.

Many people can tell you exactly what they don't want in exquisite detail

But ask them who they become when those things are no longer running the show, and suddenly the picture becomes fuzzy.

Hypnotherapy helps bring that future into focus.

It helps create an emotional connection with the person you're becoming.

Because the people who create lasting change aren't necessarily the people with the highest pain tolerance.

They're the people with the clearest vision.

The people who know why they're crossing the bridge.

The people whose future becomes more compelling than their present discomfort.

And perhaps that's the real question.

Not:

"What kind of discomfort are you willing to live with?"

But:

"How compelling is the future you're moving towards?"

Because when the answer to that question becomes clear enough, the discomfort doesn't disappear, but it stops being the main thing you notice.

And one day you find yourself standing on the other side wondering when the 'discomfort' became second nature.

Wondering when the thing that once felt impossible became part of who you are.

And realising that the person you wanted to become wasn't waiting for you at the end of the bridge.

She was being built with every step you took across it. ✨

Ready To Cross Your Own Bridge?

If you're standing in the middle of your own suspension bridge right now, wondering whether to turn back or keep going, know this: the discomfort you're feeling may not be a sign that you're failing. It may simply be a sign that you've reached the part of the journey where enthusiasm can no longer carry you.

Whether you're working through anxiety, navigating menopause, healing from past experiences, building confidence, changing habits, or creating a life that feels more aligned with who you truly are, lasting transformation rarely happens in the excitement of the beginning. It happens in the middle.

If you'd like support crossing that bridge and creating change at the level of the subconscious mind, I'd love to help.

Discover more about my hypnotherapy practice and Rapid Transformational Therapy sessions in Brighton and online here:

https://www.sallygarozzo.com

Sally Garozzo | Clinical Hypnotherapist Brighton & Online