Me and my Dad 2015.
First Class BA Hons in Professional Musicianship. 2014. (Go Me!)
Just finished my dissertation - burn out central!
My 40th! It was supposed to be a 20's themed night. I got the make up right but not the outfit! Oh well. :/
Me and the wonderful Marisa Peer - founder of RTT.
That's me on stage being a BADASS.
Inspiring Talks Brighton Inaugural night! May 2017. (Ironically the same venue as my 40th)
A big hug to you.
I’m Sally and I’m a growth orientated person. My main passions in life are: transformation, finding balance and staying inspired. I’m highly motivated & driven yet have come to enjoy the balance between masculine (doing) and feminine (being). But it hasn’t always been like this.
I’m self certified worrier, an anxiety sufferer and a perfectionist (WAP for short) but I don’t identify with those qualities anymore, I identify with myself differently because one of my core values is personal growth. I don’t let over thinking, perfectionism or anxiety reek havoc in my life anymore as I’ve come to understand now that those things are my servants not my masters. I call myself a #wapchamp
Understanding is power and understanding how I came to be this way switched my light bulb on.
I was Daddy’s little girl, there was so much love there it was almost romantic. So the day I failed my 11+ exam and he stopped talking to me (for about a week I think) there was born the belief that “I am not enough". The following year we were driving to the stables for our horse riding lesson and he asked me if I’d remembered the carrots, I said “no, I forgot”. He reprimanded me exclaiming that “life was all about thinking.” There was born the belief, “in order to get daddy’s approval I must remember everything” - exhausting!! I’ve sough validation through learning my whole life - I really have been on more courses than Nick Faldo!! :))
I felt so very different from my parents right from the word go. I was liberal, they were conservative, I was spiritual, they were more materialistic, I was emotional, they were more hardy. In order to gain their approval, I was trying to twist myself into a pretzel shape! But I was a donut and this was impossible. A prime candidate for anxiety and people pleasing.
Two major turning points occurred later on in life that made me realise something had to change. I’d moved to Brighton to go the British Institute of Modern Music to get a degree (more validation through learning). I was working so hard that I forgot to enjoy myself. I made no effort to socialise or get friends, I just wanted to work hard, no body could relate to me anyway, I was too perfect. I got my First but I’d finished bedraggled, exhausted, dizzy and sick…. not good!
I did manage to seek a bit of balance through practicing Qi Gong but then on my 40th birthday everything changed. My parents paid for a massive party for me. Forty Four people came. We’d hired a cute cabaret venue, we had a 3 course dinner, a burlesque show and a band. I was dressed to the nines. All my friends were from different eras of my life, there all in one room, including my parents. It felt like madness to me that they were all there together. I’d always felt torn about who I was at my core and all of these fragments were represented here in this room. I was excited, yet I felt very displaced. I’d greeted everyone, we’d sat down and as soon as I started to eat a voice inside my head said….”what’s the worst thing that could happen right now?” I know a panic attack…. a really really really big panic attack, one that you can’t stop unless you leave the party. And that is what happened. I felt utterly humiliated and had to leave unable to enjoy my own 40th. I think what had happened was, I couldn’t be under the spotlight because it magnified my dissonance so much that it drove my mind over the edge.
I realised I had some very deep inner work to do.
I had various forms of hypnotherapy and CBT but nothing had any lasting impact on me until I found Rapid Transformational Therapy. Last year I experienced RTT with a fellow singing teacher. He recommend it to me and I’d initially scoffed and said, “hypnotherapy doesn’t work, I’ve had it.” In his charming arrogance he said, “yes but you haven’t had RTT.”
So I was like ok let’s do this.
Under hypnosis I was able to uncover the root cause of the anxiety (which was of course, learned helplnessness) and I felt the unwavering unfloundering desire to let it go, I knew I didn’t need it in my life anymore because I’d been put back together, re-aligned, through the use of powerful language in that powerful state of hypnosis. I was programmed to only feel responsible for me alone and my own wellbeing. I could be of greater to service to others if I was balanced and calm, I could be more empathic. I learned how to be in control of my thinking, that when anxiety rose, I would look around me and realise there was no tiger in the room. I learnt to slow myself down and breath, to allow myself pleasure and space.
I trained as an RTT practitioner because it was so life changing and as an empath I wanted to help others in the same way I had been helped. RTT made sense to me because it was rapid and cut straight to the core. It combined everything I loved. It was structured but there was room for creative flow within the sessions. It can be used to heal literally every psycho-somatic illness there is ranging from addiction to infertility because at the root of every disease or disorder is a belief that ‘I am not enough, I don’t deserve this and I don’t feel that what I want is available to me. ”
RTT uses regression and requires that clients go back to the childhood pain and view it with adult eyes in order to understand it and to link it to why you are the way you are today. We’re like detectives! As the founder Marisa Peers says, “RTT goes where other therapies are scared to go.” And it’s true, I’ve literally shat my pants in some sessions but I remind myself that fortune favours the brave. We have to get in and we have to re-write those memories because the truth is, you are not your programming if you choose not to be.
Today I’m a different person, there’s no way I’d be able to do public speaking, RTT sessions and singing in public if I was out of alignment. If I didn’t embrace every aspect of myself…. warts and all. My flaws are just as important as my fabulousness. Every bump, scratch and scrape tells a story of how I came to be me. I’m no longer Daddy’s little girl, in fact he’s my little boy. I can see now that he’s the wounded one, he’s the one who didn’t get an education and felt inadequate but through no fault of his own and he projected his self dis-satisfaction onto me. And that’s ok, because my mind knows that I’m not that little girl anymore who needs Daddy’s approval. My dad’s voice is no longer my dominant internal voice. My dad always used to say to me, “don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.” And for many years I achingly lived by that rule, causing myself a lot of time tension and anxiety. Today my mantra is, “there’s always tomorrow” and that’s much more soothing.
My greatest gift to myself is knowing that we are not meant to be perfect. Life actually needs us to be flawed because the sole purpose of Life is to evolve. Evolution is what drives existence and if we’re born perfect we’d have no purpose on the planet. So right now I’d like to invite you to just let yourself off the hook for whatever you don’t like about yourself or whatever it is that you think you’re not doing…. it’s not your fault, you’re just a product of your programming! And I’m a great believer that you can accept yourself 100% without loosing the desire to grow just as nature intended.
Here’s my final gift for you:
I am enough, You are enough, We are enough.