Relationships provide us with a wonderful opportunity to see where we're not wholly and completely letting love in or appreciating the love we have around us.
There's a wonderful bit in The Crown where the Queen Mother says to her daughter "Didn't you say how unhappy she was in her marriage?" (referring to Jackie Kennedy) . The Queen replies, "Yes, but that's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along and you realised it was actually happiness all along."
She is, of course, referring to the death of JFK.
When a person we love is no longer in our lives we often realise what was there all along. A very unique and special bond. It takes a strong willingness to understand our part to play in the breakdown of a relationship. It requires us to be deeply honest with ourselves in order to notice where we've been projecting our deep sense of 'I am not enough' on to the people we love.
If you're a nit picker or a criticiser maybe, you're pinching yourself off from everything wonderful that's around you, constantly looking for ways in which everything could or should be better. Maybe this is a reflection of how you feel about yourself?
But ask yourself this, if all of this ended tomorrow, how would I feel? Regretful, remorseful, sorry?
We're always asked to be grateful or appreciative but those words can only truly be felt if we seriously consider what it would be like to lose what we love.
**Love what you don't want to lose**